your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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