so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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