respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
