i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Two words: blizzard sex
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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