i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
