She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh god it's open bar.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
