While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
