On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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