I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
