With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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