i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
