omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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