Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
