a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
