I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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