Sacagawea was the original milf.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
