So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
