Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
