your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
