thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
