I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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