It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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