My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
