Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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