i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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