smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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