Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
