i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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