were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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