During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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