Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
