The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
