if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
