y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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