I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
