Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
