You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
