I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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