time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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