You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize