I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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