I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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