I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
