He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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