Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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