is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
