just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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