if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this just has baby written all over it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
