Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
