what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
