last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
