Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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