i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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