Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.