At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
