apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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