I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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