If that was your dad, he is hot
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
