he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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