I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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