Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
