Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
