PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
