im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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